19 February 2008

Did you ever know that you're my hero...

Meet Spencer. Spencer used to shoot heroin and snort crystal meth. He was so far gone that he was living on the streets, blowing strangers for change. The whole time, Spencer was still a good guy at heart, but he was one of society’s rejects because of his rampant drug abuse. He just couldn’t kick the junk. Then one day, he wandered into Midland Methadone Clinic. Six months later, he had completely quit shooting heroin, and had turned his life around. Midland Methadone Clinic, in conjunction with eating right, exercise, and not using intravenous drugs, changed Spencer’s life. Now Spencer is a hero.

Meet Janet. Janet used to chain smoke more cigarettes than a Denny’s full of drunks. Some times she’d smoke two at a time. She had one of her eardrums removed so she could smoke through her ear-hole. Janet was a dear woman, but society shunned her because she had yellow teeth and smelled like a horse-track. But she just loved her Pall-Malls too much. Then one day Janet found Nic-o-gum-patch, the only nicotine gum that is also a patch. And also maybe it’s a pill too. Within a week, Janet had curbed her cravings. Now that she exercises and eats right and doesn’t inhale burning tobacco, Janet is a new woman. People like her and shit. And it’s all thanks to Nic-o-pill-gum or whatever. Janet is totally a hero. Also, she had her eardrum put back in.

Does this sound plausible to you? Do you feel someone can be a hero because they decided to stop some type of self-destructive behavior?

Apparently Subway has thought so for 10+ years.



Congratulations Jared. You're not only a mindless shill, you're also pretentious. Or at least you're represented that way.

Also I can make a WAY better sandwich for about a quarter of the cost, but that may be beside the point of this particular tirade.
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Here's some tracks for ya:
Elvis Costello - Watching The Detectives (Buy Here)
Bon Iver - Skinny Love (Buy Here)

1 comment:

zakary said...

I just had this same conversation about Jared, that worthless fuckhead. He annoys the shit out of me.