Invariably, the climax of many of these meals is heralded by the presence of a fortune cookie. These days, the fortune cookie is the ONE food item I will no longer put in my mouth. It irks me that after all the tasty Asian food I've eaten, they hand me a funky cookie that sticks to every exposed tooth surface.
Did the Broccoli Beef stick to my teeth?
No.
The Pad Prik?
No.
The green curry?
No.
The sukiyaki (w/ raw egg, of course)?
No.
Not even the damn sushi STICKY rice sticks to my teeth.
But I eat one tiny fortune cookie and I spend the next half hour using six toothpicks to knock that bastard loose.
So about four years ago I just quit eating them. However, due to my love of reading things and smashing things, coupled with my desire to know what my fortune is, I now just use my fist like a hammer to shatter them to bits (or use more delicate methods when decorum requires) and pluck the fortune from the wreckage.
I sometime find the fortunes themselves to be amusing, and the "...in bed"-suffix game is always fun. Yet I've never been too taken with the 'Learn Chinese' side of the paper. That is until I cracked open two last week (we had an excess due to a catering mistake) and beheld all the Chinese I would ever need to know.
Shanghai here I come.What's your favorite fortune cookie fortune story?
3 comments:
kreg - Ive never even seen a fortune cookie never mind having ate one :( but if i do, i will be sure to bring some toothpicks.
I think they make them with wet cardboard. ummh...cardboard.
I once had a cookie that showed you how to say thank you. I would say it all the time and then I finally had to stop when I realized the waiters and waitresses were speaking back to me and I had no idea what they were saying.
mine said "you will travel to exotic faraway places' and the next day I had to go to Waco....
kind of pissed me off.
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